Hello there, I*m here but i*m not....
DJ, Rambert & I went biking from Iwo Jima through the National Mall today...(why do they call it a mall???) (now i have to look up the actual definition)
1: a usually public area often set with shade trees and designed as a promenade or as a pedestrian walk
...ok then...now i see.
ANYWAY...it was nice...Rambo was so happy and I just get SOOO happy seeing him get the exercise he deserves.
It*s ALSO great that his happiness is so contagious that i think he must have made over 500 people smile today...like...huge smiles...teeth smiles... :D
The job...
so i made it through my first week of actual on the job training...anddd...it is SO stressful still...
It seems like everyday i remember a little more, but i feel like i*ve NEVER learned at such a slow pace before which is what's killing me.
WHATS WORSE...
SO many things that DO make me happy...are so far away. My friends and families lives are passing me right by...and while we text all day everyday...it makes me so sad i can*t see them in person and BE adventuring with them...and celebrating WITH them as all sorts of good things in life occur.
We miss birthdays, we miss anniversaries, we miss outings, first days, last days, hospital visits, first steps, family dinners...we miss holiday outings, gymnastics competitions...and on and on and on...
...this is just not what we pictured, not what we signed up for. We are missing whats MOST important to us. And slowly it is tearing us down. YES we laugh, yes we explore...but...well, i don*t really know what else to say about it, and complaining isn*t going to make anything better.
Alright...sorry this wasn*t as uplifting as i wish it could have been. I*m just in a bad place with myself right now. Trying to understand things. Try to make sense of things. Trying to justify things in my head.
Hope everyone else is well...
On the UP side...this weekend we will get to see some of the family...and celebrate Paul & Cat's wedding together.
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