I go to work...doing the usual thing...shadowing Carolina, also checking guests in myself...and Ameina, one of the supervisors, pulls me aside and says, Miriam, I*ve been watching you, and you are ready to do this all on your own. It*s the only way i feel you will learn everything...if you keep relying on Carolina, this learning process will take you forever. At first...i was a little panicked...i thought i still had at least another week of shadowing...i still felt there was SO much i hadn*t learned yet. And with all the things going on in my head about missing my friends and missing my family...i guess i walked into the back room looking a little out of it...my friends asked me what was wrong...i said nothing, but they kept pressing me...are you sure bc it*s ok to cry...it*s pretty much a rule that you have to cry during training some time...anndddd that was it..alllll the emotions in side from the past...oh...3 months came tumbling out...into one huge tear. I couldn*t hold it back. One of the girls took me downstairs to the break room and we talked...and i come to hear yet again....that i am not alone in the way i am feeling. It seems like every person i work with was or is in a similar situation to me...moving here, away from family, away from friends, even looking for wedding dresses alone. Not knowing how to give directions to the guests...and having to rely on google maps...feeling completely lost the first month of work, and things even deeper as well....
.....after i collected myself and came back upstairs Ameina pulled me into one of the offices and told me i had better cry again....and this time...not hold back. HAHA. She asked me what my story was....i told her...then she told me hers. It was one of those moments. Really, the people i work with....care more about how you are feeling and how you are doing in life...than how you do your job.
I think we all understand each other...and it really connects us. I really love people, and i really love hearing THEIR stories...and feel so honored that i get to hear them. ANYWAY...after the tears, Ameina tells me that she talked to Reza, and the new plan was that she was going to lock us both away in the office and she was actually going to train me...until i understood EVERYTHING and felt 100% comfortable doing everything on my own. I felt a huge wash of relief run over me...
and that*s just what we did...she went step by step, over everything...and then had me do everything in front of her. EVERYTHING MADE SENSE. FINALLY. The feeling of gratitude i felt yesterday was like non other...and by the end of the night we were both smiling from ear to ear. We did not have time to learn a few other programs Marriott uses, but i believe we will cover that today.
All this, combined with a reality check/inspirational e-mail, made me remember a lot of things i had some how forgotten recently.
There are still things inside myself i can*t come to terms with exactly yet...but i think i have an idea how to deal with them...
But for now...i have to live in the moment...each and every one...and like someone wise once told me... (more like...reminded me 59739483478982337 times)..."The mind is a VERY powerful tool. Use it to your advantage and only allow positive thoughts to enter it. (You really can control what you allow to enter your mind.)"
You're beautiful.
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